Did you know that Goldfish actually produce their own alcohol? Yes, Goldfish—the snack that smiles back. So, how many would you have to eat to get drunk off them? Speaking of fish, did you know that dolphins risk their lives to get a buzz off of the incredibly poisonous puffer fish? Yes, as it turns out, there are other animals that can drink alcohol and other things to take the edge off. Here are some of the silliest (and possibly deeply troubled) animals that drink.
Despite picturing a dog in this blog, dogs can’t and should never drink. The term “booze hound” doesn’t refer to actual hounds, mind you. This is like the blog equivalent of funny animal YouTube compilations where they do dumb stuff and you laugh about it, so keep reading.
Several Animals That Drink Alcohol and Usually Get Pretty Drunk
The reason “American bats” are emphasized over regular bats is because of a unique difference between American bats and all other bats. Apparently, it isn’t uncommon for a bat to drunkenly stumble around the dark after eating a couple of bad berries like your dad used to do when he thought you were sleeping.
A study in Belize monitored the behavior and blood alcohol levels in different bats. The bats were fed enough ethanol-rich fruit to give them a blood alcohol level of 0.3%. Remember when we talked about the legal BAC limit for humans? Don’t go reporting the American bat to the police quite yet, because as it turns out, they handle their alcohol really well, flying and functioning perfectly normally with an amount that would leave a human comatose or dead.
Other animals personify humans in a number of interesting ways. Their drinking habits, their relationships, and sometimes their jobs. The bee is the hardest working animal in the animal kingdom, being that their whole lives revolve around this one job they were predestined to uphold: something to do with pollen, we don’t know.
That’s why when bees show up to work drunk, it’s kind of big deal—just like us! Flower nectar can ferment and become alcoholic similarly to fruit. A bee can easily find itself enjoying a flowery cocktail without even realizing it. The flight home can be really tricky, as drunk bees have been known to fly into each other, get lost, or just look for more flower alcohol. The ones that do manage to get back to the hive are shunned and sometimes attacked. Bees have a very strict corporate alcohol policy.
Elephants are gentle giants for the most part. In fact, they’re kind of the nice guys at the party. It’s true that elephants can get drunk and have on occasion, but, it isn’t a common occurrence. The reason is the same reason Andre the Giant had a whole keg to himself at a party: their size means they require more alcohol to get drunk.
Scientists speculate that an elephant would have to eat 400% more fermented fruit than they normally would to experience a decent drunken state. With that said, they probably wouldn’t do that. However, it has been observed before and guess what—all they did was get lazy and sloppily take a bath. Definitely the more underwhelming of animals that drink. Sorry. Should have started with this one.
This tiny animal lives in trees or something. It’s also a critter of impressively advanced evolution, meaning it can drink as much alcohol it wants…without getting drunk at all. This actually is a pretty incredible thing, considering it sort of changes the way we look at evolution and alcohol.
Not only do they not get drunk, but the alcohol they consume from fermented palm nectar (the equivalent of drinking human beer) actually has a lot of positive effects, like cardiovascular protection, appetite regulation, and warmth. What’s your excuse?
And of course, monkeys
It’s well known that monkeys enjoy a good drink. After all, we owe it to them for our current drinking habits and a snowball effect that helped bring about agriculture (Wow! Thanks, alcohol!).
The vervet monkey, in particular, is native in the Caribbean, so locals and tourists alike experience the wrath of sloppy drunk monkeys. These monkeys are well known to steal cocktails right off the tables of restaurants and out of the hands of lounging booze hound beach bums.
To make matters worse, the monkeys actually have a serious drinking problem. It’s speculated that around 5% of the entire monkey population are alcoholics. This dependency, when coupled with the fact that they are out in the wild and have to rely on stealing alcohol from humans, creates a serious problem for humans and monkeys alike.
A Booze Hound’s Natural Habitat, Downtown Las Vegas
Humans are animals that drink, so give your inner beast exactly what it wants. Head on down to Downtown Las Vegas and have a DTLV pub crawl.